Ebunoluwa O.

Photo provided by Ebunoluwa O.

If you’re reading this, “no” is a full sentence.

Choosing yourself does not make you selfish, it makes you wise. The path to medicine is long, demanding, and at times exhausting. People often talk about how hard medical school is and the toll it can take on a student, and honestly… they aren’t wrong. But I want you to know something important: yes, it’s hard but it doesn’t always have to break you. Medical school is challenging, but suffering in silence shouldn’t be a requirement.

For a long time, I was the person who said “yes” to everything. Yes to friendships, yes to relationships, yes to school obligations, yes to work, yes to being involved, yes to being available, always yes. And although it came from a good place, over time it became draining. It wasn’t just tiring—it was overwhelming. I didn’t realize how much pressure I was carrying until my mind and body started forcing me to notice.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that you can’t pour from an empty cup. And in medical school, it’s easy to start believing that your worth is measured by how much you can handle. You may feel like you need to be involved in every club, every society, every leadership role, every research opportunity because it will make you look like a “better applicant” or a “stronger student.” But the truth is, pulling yourself in too many directions without protecting your peace is one of the fastest routes to burnout.

What helped me most was learning to listen to my body.
When I’m tired, I let myself rest. When I feel overwhelmed, I pause. And when my plate is too full, I remind myself that it’s okay to remove things, even if they’re “good opportunities.” Rest is not a reward you earn, it’s something you need and deserve.

I also had to learn that not every “yes” is the right one. Sometimes we say yes because we don’t want to disappoint others, because we want to prove ourselves, or because we’re afraid of missing out. But I’ve realized that one of the healthiest things you can do is choose activities based on the right intention. Do things that truly align with your well-being and growth, not just what makes others happy or what looks impressive from the outside. Most of the time the best decision for your future is the one that brings you peace in the present. If you’re struggling right now, I want you to know this: you are not alone. Even when it feels like everyone else is thriving, many people are quietly trying to survive. You don’t have to carry everything by yourself. Let people in. Check on your classmates. Accept help when it’s offered. And be the kind of person who makes medical school feel a little less cold and a little more kind.

We deserve a culture in medicine where taking care of your mental health is seen as strength not weakness. Where asking for support is normal. Where boundaries are respected. Where we don’t glorify burnout. Where we can succeed and still be human.

So please, take this with you:
You are allowed to rest.
You are allowed to say no.
You are allowed to choose yourself.
And you are still a great medical student—even on the days you don’t feel like one.

With care,
Someone who understands.

Ebunoluwa O., Second Year Medical Student

Several studies have revealed that medical students, physicians, and healthcare professionals experience mental health symptoms at rates significantly higher than the general population. Stethos[Cope] is a chapter of IfYoureReadingThis designed to help medical students and professionals cope with the unique stressors of medical training and change the narrative of mental health in medicine.

To read more letters and interviews from students, and to learn more about mental health in the medical community, visit the Stethos[Cope] home page.