Julianna C.
Photography by Bri Nitsberg
If you’re reading this, it’s okay to miss your family.
Really, it is. Especially when you're caught in one of those quiet moments after your loved ones leave campus, and the walls of your dorm feel just a bit too still, like they’re holding their breath with you. That stillness can hurt. I know it did for me.
I want to share a piece of my story from my first year of college, because I’ve learned that homesickness doesn’t always arrive the way we think it will. It’s not always dramatic or overwhelming. Sometimes, it sneaks in softly, in the silence after a hug goodbye, in the imprint of your family on the space they helped you settle into, or in the sudden quiet once the door closes behind them.
For me, the hardest part wasn’t being far from home every day, but it was those moments right after my family left. Whether they’d visited for my birthday weekend or we had just said goodbye after move-in, the ache settled in during the quiet moments just after they were gone. I’d walk back into my room, and suddenly all the little things they had touched, the bed they helped make, and the half-eaten candy bar they left behind reminded me that they weren’t staying.
And even though I was surrounded by thousands of people, I felt deeply alone in that feeling. I remember wondering if everyone else had already figured things out, adjusted faster, felt more independent, felt more ready.
But here’s something I wish I’d understood earlier: feeling homesick doesn’t mean you’re weak or behind. It means you have roots. It means you love and are loved. And honestly, that’s something to be proud of.
And here’s the good news: with time, those roots don’t fade. They stretch. They reach outward. They find grounding in new places – in unexpected friendships, spontaneous laughter, the first time a campus spot becomes your favorite place. Slowly, this place that once felt unfamiliar starts to feel like another version of home.
So if today is hard, if the room feels too quiet, the day feels heavy, and your chest aches a little, give yourself permission to feel it. Call someone you love. Step outside and take a deep breath. Let yourself cry if you need to. Accept the feeling for what it is, but know it won’t always be like this. Because little by little, it really does get better. You'll start to notice the moments when you feel a little stronger. When you laugh with someone new. When you wake up and realize the day feels light again.
And one day, maybe sooner than you think, someone else will be going through it, and you will be the one saying, “I’ve been there. I know it’s hard. But I promise – you’ll get through it.”
You’re not alone in this. You’re growing. And you’ve got this.
Julianna C., Washington University in St. Louis
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