Rylin B.

Photography by Kaitlyn Rehnstrand

If you’re reading this, you may feel a little stuck.

You want to hang out with friends, ace your classes, build good bonds with your professors, join clubs, find an internship, but at the same time have a social life, meet new people, and make the most of your college experience. It’s like OMG… my Calendar is going to explode. 

You want to get to bed at a reasonable hour, cook most of your meals (don’t forget—learn how to cook), and move your body. And that random package… yeah, add returning it at the UPS store across campus to your to-do list. You need to take out the trash. Do the laundry that is almost overflowing. And just when you think you’re going to explode… BOOM. Pop quiz! Hopefully you know all the material from the 20 readings you’re behind on.

It gets to this unrealistic point where we convince ourselves we’re supposed to be pros at juggling a million things.

It’s like, is there a secret path to success I don’t know about?!

When I scroll through social media, it’s like… ugh, I guess I’m not doing enough. When I see my friends with smiles on their faces, I wonder why I’m all over the place, and they seemingly aren’t. What am I doing wrong?

It is exhausting. Feeling like you’re always one step behind your peers and never knowing what is truly “good for you”. Somewhere along the way, being busy starts to feel like proof that you’re doing college right. I catch myself thinking that if everyone else is stressed, too, then maybe this is just how it’s supposed to feel. But something being common doesn’t mean we have to keep pushing ourselves until we’re drained.

And it is so deceiving. Because what do you mean I worked so hard to be where I am right now, but I’m drowning so much I can barely enjoy it?

This, my friend, is where I need you to remember that two things can be true at the same time.

You can be grateful to be here and overwhelmed by everything being here asks of you. You can love your friends and need a night to yourself. You can be proud of how far you’ve come and still feel unsure about what comes next.

This isn’t some revolutionary reminder that will change your life… I wish. But it brings me some comfort to know that having mixed feelings doesn’t mean I’m doing something wrong. Sometimes it just means I’m human.

You can feel physically drained and still get excited about that one Pilates class. You can love the way the shoes look and hate how they feel. You’re allowed to realize that something you wanted needs a little adjusting once you’re actually living it. We’re constantly changing and figuring out what works for us.

So if you’re feeling stuck, you don’t have to talk yourself out of that feeling just because there are good things in your life, too. Know that if you’re feeling it, it’s valid. Both deserve some space.

The person walking down State Street giving “I woke up at 5 AM to study and figured out my whole life” probably has a story you know nothing about. And that awesome jean outfit you see across University Ave? Those could literally be their clothes from last night that they never bothered to change out of. Trust me.

Give yourself grace. Do a cartwheel, if that’s your thing. You can be making the most of your college experience and still have days when it feels like too much. Those days don’t erase the good ones or everything it took to get here. More than one thing can be true at a given time. 

Rylin B., University of Wisconsin

Connect With Us

To follow IfYoureReadingThis at Wisco on Instagram, get in touch with our chapter, and learn about more resources available to Wisco students, visit our chapter’s homepage.