Anonymous

If you’re reading this, it’s not too late to find people who are willing to help you and want to see you succeed.

When I came to Arizona State University in 2023 to start my freshman year, it was a time when I thought that I would make new friends and experience college as I had heard it from my peers and others that I knew from High School. However, I did not think that during my freshman year I would start struggling with mental health. 

At first, college lived up to what I’d hoped for. As I went to classes, I met new people who were both similar and different from me; however, I was struggling to find ‘my’ group of people. Between problem sets and office hours with TAs and professors, my schedule filled up fast — and out of that came a few real friendships. I started studying and seeing the same people in class every day, which felt like a lifeline. Only two people from my high school had come to ASU with me, so having that small circle of new friends mattered more than I expected. 

I was more shy and kept to myself, so making friends at a school this large turned out to be much harder than I’d imagined.

My roommate at the time was rarely around, so most days I was alone in my dorm, left to sit with my own thoughts. I slipped into a loneliness that deepened into something more like depression – though from the outside, I was still high-functioning enough to hide it. I kept it almost completely from my friends and family, which, looking back, was the wrong call. I was not enjoying the college experience my parents had talked about, which confused me.

Why was my experience so much lonelier and heavier than what everyone talked about? Why did no one mention this side of college at all? Am I the only one struggling with this?

I got good at faking it — performing "okay" for my friends so they wouldn't ask questions or treat me differently. That mindset carried me through the rest of sophomore year, building until it peaked that summer. By then, it was hard to believe there was any happiness or meaning out there that could pull me out of where I was.

I know now that I wasn't the only one struggling — I just isolated myself as if I were. Things started to shift when a high school friend, someone I'd see every week, invited me to a church service he'd been attending. That led to more time spent with him and a group of like-minded people. Our conversations were the best part — we could talk about anything, whether it was school stress or whatever else we were carrying. Being a part of that community allowed me to become comfortable with confronting my mental state and exposed how dangerous isolation was to my mental health.

Talking about how deep my struggle went was never going to be easy, especially for someone who doesn't naturally open up about his feelings. But it got easier knowing others were struggling too — that speaking up might help someone else, and that listening to them was part of what pushed me to finally get help myself.

It has now been two years since I was a sophomore, and while I can't say I’ve fully recovered from that mental state, I’ve come a long way. Finding community, serving others, and helping where I can have been the biggest reasons I’ve been able to work through the depression. It amazes me that it has taken two years, but the amount of progress that I have made and the change in my mental state have been staggering. I have real friendships; I’m dating my best friend and have stronger relationships with God and the people at my church. 

None of that came easily. It took courage — showing up consistently, listening to others, confronting my fears, and learning to ask for help when I needed it. I can say that finding a community and people who will help you. This is what pushed me to ask for help and helped my mental health improve to where it is today. And if you are struggling, it’s not too late to find people who are willing to help you and who want to see you succeed.

There’s no better time than now to ask for help and to seek guidance from family, friends, or professionals so you can become who you were created to be. I know you might be struggling like I was, but getting help should be your number one goal. So start simple: call a friend and talk. Even if you think you have nothing to say.

Anonymous., Arizona State University

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