Madison B.
Photography by Kaitlyn Rehnstrand
If you’re reading this, it’s okay to follow your dreams.
When asked to write this letter for student-athlete mental health week, I didn’t really know what I wanted to say. Being an athlete at UW-Madison is a dream come true, but it took a long time to get here.
I am from the beautiful and almost always sunny California. I knew that I wanted to be a college athlete my whole life. That dream started with swimming, but then four years ago, it shifted to rowing after I fell in love with the sport. I worked really hard and got recruited to what quickly became my dream school.
I was so excited to start college as a D1 athlete, to go somewhere no one knew me, and to make new friends, but I am a homebody. So, when I realized I was thousands of miles away from home and, for the first time in my life, I would have to handle life on my own. I was scared. Really scared.
I’m not going to sugarcoat it; the first couple of months were HARD. I didn’t know anyone and struggled to figure out where I belonged. I also struggled with the change in volume and intensity of the workouts. I wanted to talk about those challenges, my fear of failing, and school,
but I was not yet close to my teammates or anyone else. Honestly, I was lonely, I was sad, and I wanted to leave. My parents told me I owed it to myself and the team to stay and try to make it work. We agreed to evaluate over Thanksgiving break. If I was still unhappy, I could transfer back home.
So, I stuck it out (and I am so grateful that I did). I slowly started to find junior and senior mentors on the team, who quickly became the greatest of friends. I also met other athletes who didn’t start in my class, but quickly became friends. Having mentors and friends on the team made all the difference. We talked about everything – the good, the bad, and the ugly.
They shared similar struggles and encouraged me to keep going. By the time Thanksgiving break came, thoughts of leaving were long gone. By the time I went home for Christmas break, I knew the team was home, and I couldn’t wait to get back to the boathouse. I went from eating dinner alone every night, embarrassed by what other people in my dorm thought of me, to getting my nails done with the juniors and seniors and eating dinner with my teammates laughing so loud I was more embarrassed of how annoying we were being.
Looking back, if it wasn’t for those junior and senior girls who saw what I was going through and took me under their wings, I don’t know if I would still be here at UW-Madison today. I wouldn’t have the amazing group of friends I have now, and I wouldn’t have had the best season of my life last year. And I wouldn’t have the drive to achieve even more this year. My teammates also inspire me to do better than I thought I could. I have made so many future career aspirations that wouldn’t have been possible without this school and this team.
What does this have to do with your dreams? Being a D1 athlete, specifically at this school, has shaped me into a version of myself I never thought possible. It can do the same for you. And for any current college athletes or even any aspiring college athletes, being a college athlete can do the same.
Being an athlete is hard, but it can also be so worth it. It is ok to struggle. Everyone does! It’s ok to not be ok sometimes. The important thing is to talk about it. You might be surprised how many of your teammates and friends understand what you are going through! Most importantly, ask for help. Use the resources given to you, call your parents, do something that brings you joy, and always make time for yourself.
Progress isn’t linear, and results do not define your worth. If I ever could sit down with freshman year me, I would tell her one thing: stick with it. It will be worth your while. And if I could sit down with freshman-year you, I would say don’t give up. You never know what wonderful things life has in store for you if you just follow your dreams.
Madison B., University of Wisconsin
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To follow IfYoureReadingThis at Wisco on Instagram, get in touch with our chapter, and learn about more resources available to Wisco students, visit our chapter’s homepage.
