Jake G.

If you’re reading this, you are worth something to someone.

I’ve always been seen as a positive person by others. I pretty much always have a smile on my face, laughing with my friends and a lot of times at myself, and enjoying life as a whole. But usually, that positivity masks the negativity that is going on inside my head.

For almost four years I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety about my self-worth. I’ve often felt like I wasn’t worth anything to anyone – a feeling that no one cared about me and that I was all alone. Whether it was in academics, sports, and even my social life I felt that whatever I tried to accomplish I’d do it wrong and I’d mess it up. I thought I was letting everyone down and I kept trying to prove myself to others. I worked so hard to achieve success that I’d eventually burn out. No matter what I did, or how hard I worked it never seemed to be enough and I felt like I kept failing. It pulled me into this deep hole that I couldn’t climb out of.

There were moments when I would get so frustrated that I wanted to punch a hole in the wall. Other times, I would have crippling anxiety attacks thinking: am I doing something wrong? What are people going to think because I didn’t do everything that was expected of me? It got to a point where I had terrible thoughts about myself and I couldn’t take it anymore.

For years I struggled with this alone, not telling a single person. I didn’t want anyone to know because I felt embarrassed and didn’t want to burden anyone with my struggles. But eventually, I found the courage to ask for help. I told my mom what I was dealing with and in my mind I thought she was going to panic and bombard me with questions. I had imagined her reacting with worry, maybe even disappointment. But that wasn’t the case at all. She simply gave me a hug, and told me everything was going to be okay. She thanked me for trusting her enough to share what I was feeling.

In that moment, a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel completely alone. Her calm and loving response showed me that opening up doesn’t always lead to judgment and reminded me that vulnerability isn’t weakness.

Everyone goes through hard times when you feel like you’re failing. You may doubt your abilities. You may think you aren’t doing enough. But always remember that you have worth. Your worth is the same as everyone else's. What’s important is how you make them feel, the things you do for them, and the way you show up in their lives. You are worth something to someone.

I still struggle to this day but I do things to make it just a little easier. I attend therapy sessions, meditate, and one thing that really helps is music. A song that I love listening to is “Crisis” by Bob Marley. My favorite line is, “No matter what the crisis is, you just keep doing your thing.” This resonates with me because obstacles will arise – it's just a part of life. But when these obstacles start knocking you down and stressing you out to the point where you begin to doubt yourself, you have to stay on course and keep doing your thing. Whatever problems you’re going through aren’t permanent; they will pass. I promise you that. No matter what, you have to keep moving forward.

Failing is a part of life. It’s not fun for sure, but that does not mean you lack self-worth or that you’re a failure. What matters is how you bounce back from that failure and become a stronger person. If you need help along the way don’t be afraid to ask. I know it seems scary but people will listen. People care about you. You are never alone.

Always remember. You are worth something to someone

Jake G., Syracuse University

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