ANONYMOUS

Photography by BU College of Communications

If you’re reading this, just know that you are far more than your professional identity.

My path in medicine was a straight line. College, then medical school, followed by a long residency and fellowship. I had always identified myself as a doctor and derived meaning and joy from treasured interactions with patients. My role afforded me the luxury of being present in peoples’ lives at vulnerable times. I balanced this responsibility with caring for medical students and residents and later with the honor of having my own family. My professional identity became one of juggling: some days able to keep all the balls in the air, and some days dropping a few.

But things change! Since becoming ill several years ago, I had to change the way I practiced. I was no longer the high acuity doctor, the person folks called when there was a problem. I became simply myself. Expanding myself from the role of caregiver to requiring care was one of the hardest lessons of my life. I had to learn how to receive, not just how to give. I had to learn to expand, not to shrink. I had to learn to communicate without apologizing for being ill. I had to make room for being “just me,” and accepting that “me” was more than enough. My professional identity shifted; not in a melancholic way, but one where I acknowledged that I feel blessed I had walked a hard path to help others and now needed to focus more inwards.

The wisdom I have learned has provided me with a different mindset. It has provided me the ability to walk beside students who are trying to figure out their own professional identity. It has offered me a way to help friends and family who need an advocate. I look forward to the next chapters in my life… Who knows what circuitous route will lead me to exactly where I am meant to be?

Anonymous, Boston University

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