Noelia P.
Photography by Dominique Barret
If you’re reading this, leniency isn’t laziness.
When I started at Duke, I often heard professors tell students, “You must have been the top of your class in high school”. I was never a bad student but definitely not the top of the class. Deep down I’ve always had this fear that I was the absolute LAST person to get accpeted into my class and would have to fight to prove otherwise.
I have never felt like I was the naturally smart type, rather I was the person who had to stay up late and review material over and over again to understand. I was so scared that in coming here I wasn’t going to be able to keep up with everyone else around me. As an only child, my parents were the type to be overly invested in my academics. They are both immigrants and wanted to make sure that I was setting myself up for success. However, with this new found independence I struggled with overly disciplining myself. I didn’t know how to be in school without someone else ensuring that I was doing enough. Throughout my first year, I felt immense guilt and anxiety every time I wasn’t doing something related to school.
Since I am pre-med, the classes I took freshman year were pretty challenging, and I wanted to try my best. At the time I thought the best thing to do was isolate myself with my studies. Luckily, the friends I surrounded myself with didn’t let me completely isolate myself. There were times when I was stubborn and through negotiation I would agree to bake a treat with my friends ONLY if we would study while things were in the oven. Of course I chatted with my friends instead, but while I felt fulfilled by my friendships the guilt of not studying would eat me alive later.
I was constantly on edge about school until my sophomore year, when I realized that I can trust myself to get the work done. I thought that having a work life balance was something that lazy people used as an excuse to get away with doing less work (I know, super toxic). My parents instilled the value of hard work at a young age, and that mentality is still with me, despite having evolved. The best memories I’ve had at Duke were not getting good grades, but the laughter I’ve shared with my friends. As a senior I’ve had time to reflect on my past attitudes, I have found that holding myself to impossible standards was ruining my ability to be present with my friends.
Obviously, we have to study at this school in order to succeed, but there is life outside of your career aspirations. Especially if your career is a marathon and not a sprint, there is no way to sprint the entire time and not burn out. Taking time to rest and prioritize sleep will benefit you mentally, and it made me a better student. I truly thought that giving myself some leniency meant that I was giving up, and I’m just a lazy person. However, giving myself grace has proved to be the best thing I can do. So please, go bake with your friends and no you don’t have to study while the sweet treats are in the oven.
Noelia P., Duke University
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