Nick L.
Photography by Catherine White.
If you’re reading this, you have something to be grateful for.
I’m a 4th-year student at UVA. I’ll be graduating a lot sooner than I think, and I, like many other UVA students, have ambitious goals for my future. That’s always been a major part of who I am. In the things I care about, I hold myself to a high standard because I know that I can achieve it.
However, there’s one problem with being a person who has big goals that’s impossible to ignore. Whether it’s getting into graduate school, starting a successful business venture, or building a dream career, it will inevitably take time.
Sometimes, that time can manifest itself as a relatively short period as you wait to hear back from an application, maybe only a few weeks. In other circumstances, that time can manifest itself as months, years, or even potentially decades of hard work, all of which you do without even knowing if it’s going to work out or not.
So, as I started to take the first steps towards reaching my goals, this reality started to dawn on me as I began to realize the seemingly daunting nature of some of the things I wanted to achieve. Whether they were months down the line or years in the future, I would wake up every morning with this burning sense of agitation. “I’m not there yet. I don’t have the success that I want. Work NOW. I’m wasting time.”
Can you blame me for wanting it faster? If most people had to choose between success tomorrow versus success 5 years from now, the answer would be quite obvious.
I began to spend my days focusing on what I didn’t have. I didn’t have the internship or job. I didn’t have the results. I didn’t have the achievements. This focus on lack and scarcity led me down a path that was, admittedly, productive for a time, but ultimately wildly unsustainable in the long term.
I became chronically stressed. I always felt like I was behind. I would quietly view the time I would take to relax or see friends as a “waste,” since I could be using it to get what I didn’t have even quicker. What had started as meaningful ambitions very quickly became stressful obsessions.
It wasn’t until recently that I realized that I was digging a hole for myself that success, no matter how much I achieved, would never get me out of. I could achieve every single goal I had set. I could even go beyond them. And even then, there’d be another thing, somewhere, that I still don’t have. By focusing on what I don’t have, this mindset of scarcity, I would never be satisfied, especially if I built my success from that state.
From there, I began to shift my focus toward what I do have. The things I’m grateful for. I live a pretty fun life. I have a loving family. Good friends. Even beyond the “big” things, I chose to be grateful for the details in my life. I’m grateful for the chair I sit on in my dorm to do my homework and for the people who built it. I’m grateful for the family of deer that passes outside my window every few days. I’m grateful for the clean air I breathe every time I go outside.
No matter how bad it gets, no matter how much I don’t have, I actually have a lot more than I give credit for. Simply walking around and reminding myself of the things I’m grateful for throughout the day completely changed the way I carry myself and live my life.
This shift didn’t stop me from pushing towards my goals. But instead of pushing for them from a place of lack, of scarcity – I push for them from a place of abundance, of gratitude. I don’t need them anymore. And in a weird way, that’s probably what’s going to make me actually get them done.
If you’re reading this, maybe there’s a lot that you don’t have. Maybe things are pretty crazy for you right now. But you will always, always have something to be grateful for.
Yes, being grateful for the little squirrel you see on the way to class doesn’t automatically solve your problems. But it can serve as a gentle reminder that there are a lot of problems that you don’t have, and a lot of good things that you do have, no matter how much you lose.
So even as you work towards your big goals, stay grateful along the way. It’s a much more sustainable source of fuel.
Nick L., University of Virginia
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