Mercy S.

Photography by Cat White

If you’re reading this, do it scared.

There was a period of time here at UVA where I woke up scared every single day. Granted, that fear manifested differently each day: the fear of failing an exam that I had later, the looming fear of being a poor friend, the exacerbated fear of what the future would look like, or especially, the simple fear that I wasn’t doing the right thing. In all of this, was I doing the right thing? It was as if an umbrella of every single what-if was following me, and with that, I was waiting for the next bad thing to happen. In a lot of ways, it stopped me from showing up for myself in moments where I needed to be my biggest advocate and support.

I wouldn’t say there was an exact moment or day where things flipped and I suddenly stopped being scared, but I do think there was a gradual shift in mindset. I realized living paralyzed by fear, in whatever way, was a horrible way to live. And to be honest, it was exhausting maintaining the belief that the next worst thing was waiting for me. 

Instead of letting the fear of the unknown stop me, I decided to embrace it where I found it. It was a matter of understanding things in a way that made me decide that the worst thing actually never was the worst, and that I am capable. The way I understood it was that if I was going to be scared either way, I might as well turn that fear into something proactive. Doing it scared, whatever that was. It was an active acknowledgment of the fact that I WAS scared, but I wasn’t going to let it stop me from growing and challenging myself, and coming out on the other side (because you always will).

One of our peers here at UVA once said in a large setting I was present in, “Don’t let the reason you think you can’t be the reason you don’t.” At that moment, it felt like they were only talking to me. When you are growing into yourself, trying new things, and challenging yourself, a sense of fear is the most normal thing you can feel. In my opinion, I think that means you are on track to become who you are supposed to be. I also like to remember the quote, “What if it works out better than you expect?” Hold space for your success because you deserve to believe in yourself, despite not knowing exactly what the other side looks like. Plus, regret, in my opinion, is one of the scariest things. So if doing something means you are doing it scared, welcome it. It means you’re trying, and what else can you ask of yourself?

Mercy S., University of Virginia

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