Megan M.
Photography by Olivia Karczewski
If you’re reading this, grief takes time, but so does growth.
This letter is for those carrying something heavy while simultaneously trying to move forward. Whether you’re missing a loved one, letting go of a relationship, or mourning a future that will never come to fruition, the weight of loss can feel suffocating. Heartbreak, in its many forms, is uncomfortable. However, I can say without a doubt that it is one of the most pivotal stages in our adult lives. Your feelings of hopelessness are valid, but beneath it all, I want you to know this—you are stronger than you think, and you will get through this.
Allow yourself to feel everything. Talk about it until you have nothing left to say. Journal your thoughts until you have nothing left to write. Cry until there are no tears left. Do not distract yourself to the point where you are avoiding your emotions—face them head-on.
Never feel ashamed or pathetic for not knowing how to handle your emotions; all that matters is that you are letting it all out.
There is no right way to handle grief. There is no correct healing timeline you should be following. This will take time, so gift yourself exactly that. Take it one day at a time rather than looking at the big picture. We all cope differently, and that is a part of being uniquely human. In these times of darkness, you will get to know yourself on an unexpectedly intimate level, and it will positively change the trajectory of how you view yourself.
Give yourself grace. If you’re dwelling on past mistakes, reframe your mindset to see what happened as a learning opportunity. During this time, memories and "what ifs" will inevitably haunt you. Your mind will be filled with racing thoughts of regret, and you will blame yourself for things you can no longer control. You must believe in the saying that everything happens for a reason. You will find peace when you stop trying to force everything to go the way you want. Embrace the imperfection of life.
Two things can be true. You can be in a room full of people and feel utterly alone. You can desperately want someone and love them enough to let them go. You can hold onto hope for a dream that once felt real and still accept the reality that it won’t come true.
In the moment, it seems impossible, but one day, you will be thankful for this time in your life. Growth is quietly unfolding within you. This is the push we need to live fully because of what we’ve lost. It is a beautiful transformation that shapes us in a way we could have never imagined. Grief is a kind of pain words cannot capture, yet within its complexity, we find ourselves again.
Megan M., West Chester University
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