Kristen G.
If you’re reading this, give the world your light.
I know how it feels to be shrouded in fear in a time of darkness. I’m consistently described as a shining bright light, but I learned that a light cannot shine without its own energy. I’ve accomplished a lot in my life. I have three college degrees and am working on two more. I’m a notary public, a Realtor, a nanny, a tutor, a fiancé, and I invest in the stock market , while also working full-time in college, and yet I still found myself struggling. I would lie on my closet floor, knees to chest, and just let the tears stream down my face because the world kept blowing out my light like a match to the wind. I would consistently compare my life to those around me because it looked like they had it all under control, and they appeared to be this image of perfection. You know what they say, “comparison is the thief of joy”, and that holds true no matter what phase of life you find yourself in. Nobody has all the answers, and life is much more grey than black and white.
Getting better isn’t just waking up one day and deciding to finally clean your room. It’s figuring out that you can’t pour from an empty cup. It’s okay to talk to your friends about how you feel, and it’s also okay to seek help in the form of counseling or psychiatry. I did, and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. In fact, I have all these accomplishments, and I consider getting set up with a psychiatrist (shoutout FNP Jen Esker!) and starting to take Wellbutrin in my top 5 list of things I’m most proud of. It takes guts to reach out because we are so often conditioned into being this perfect illusion of being okay. Nobody whose opinion is worth anything is going to shame you into thinking there’s something wrong with you. Life is too short and too beautiful to listen to all that hogwash anyway.
You cannot tell me that life doesn’t get better and see birds flying in the wind, the smile on your friends faces, a dog wagging their tail (or in my case nub, because I have an Australian Shepherd), your bed after a long day, your parents voice on the phone when you call them, or your own reflection and tell me that life is not worth living. I know that there is beauty in every moment, and I know that you can find it too.
Kristen G., Clemson University
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