Hannah F.

Photography by Ashley Kung

If you’re reading this, know that it will get better.

Mental health is something that I have struggled with my entire life. When I was younger, OCD, anxiety, and depression ruled my mind. I thought feeling anxious, out of control, and scared was normal. Because I was functional and successful, I did not receive treatment until my junior year of college, when I first started my therapy journey. 

In my senior year of college, I joined an ultimate frisbee league. I love running, and it was amazing to get outside and meet new people. Unfortunately, the running done in this sport caused my back and hips to “give out,” causing endless excruciating pain as a result of unhealed sports injuries from years ago being triggered. This November 2025 will be three years since that injury changed my entire life. 

This chronic pain led me to new lows mentally. I felt depressed, hopeless, angry, and like my pain would never get better. I did everything I was supposed to: I went to the doctor, got MRIs, tried cortisone injections, acupuncture, massage, and more. Nothing made it better. There were many days I woke up and did not want to be on this earth. How was I supposed to live like this, with the pain so bad that I could think of little else? People would tell me, “it will get better,” and I could not believe them because it was not getting better, and maybe it never would. Who were they to tell me that it would get better? 

I felt alone, isolated, and like no one could understand what I was going through. I thought that being consumed by pain and depression would be my life forever. I self-medicated with marijuana, numbing my pain and becoming addicted and reliant on it. 

Despite all of this, my hard work and resilience of never giving up, trying new treatments, and quitting smoking entirely did eventually help. Today, I am still in pain at all times, but my pain is manageable. My chronic pain is a huge part of who I am and always will be, but I am more than that. 

Know that as the pendulum swings, what goes down will go up. This thought gave me comfort throughout the hardest years of my life. Even if I could not believe that it would get better, I held on to a sliver of hope that maybe it would, one day. I have continued therapy, undergone EMDR, trauma therapy, OCD exposure therapy, acceptance therapy, CBT, and talk therapy. I had hip surgery, did addiction treatment, got on psychiatric meds, and did SoftWave therapy. I have found what works for me through intense and repeated trial and error. 

All of this to say: never give up. Keep trying. When life feels unmanageable, live it one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute or second at a time. The future can feel scary and dark, but it will get better. Whatever you struggle with—pain, mental health, addiction, trauma, or something else—know that the hard work you put into it will pay off, and it will get better. 

If you can relate to any of these topics, please reach out to me and know that you are not alone.

Hannah F., University of Florida

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