Alyssa jackson
Photography by Greer Diaz
If you’re reading this, take a deep breath.
One of my mottos that I live by is that everything happens for a reason. I know it sounds cliché, and a lot of people don’t believe it. They’ll say, “You control your own life,” and in many ways, that’s true. We make choices, set goals, and work hard toward the things we want, but sometimes, no matter how much effort we put in, some things don’t go the way we planned. You studied hours for that exam and still didn’t get the grade you wished for. You put time and energy into a friendship or relationship, but it still ended. You networked and applied to so many jobs, and you still didn’t get it.
It's frustrating. It feels unfair. Sometimes, it leaves you questioning why you even try. However, here’s the kicker: things fall apart so better things can come together. Maybe that exam pushed you to try a new study method, or maybe it helped you realize that the major wasn’t for you. Losing that friend taught you what kind of people you want in your life. That breakup allowed you to figure out who you were without being tied to another person. That missed job opportunity led you to another job or experience, you wouldn’t have found otherwise.
Everything that happens, even the things that hurt, plays a part in shaping who you are. We don’t always see it right away; it takes months, even years, but eventually it all starts to make sense. That wrong turn, setback, or breakup was directing you into the right direction, even when you were blinded by the moment; you never can see the full picture until it’s over.
So, if you’re reading this, take a deep breath. You don’t need to have it all figured out; we have years, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. People like Morgan Freeman, Jeff Bezos, Oprah Winfrey, and Donald Fisher didn’t establish themselves by their early 20s; they endured failure, rejection, and uncertainty. They used those lessons to grow, fail, start over, and establish themselves by their thirties, even forties.
Remember that life isn’t a race, we’re all moving at our own pace, and each of our journeys looks completely different than the person next to us. This is harder in such a digital age, where we’re constantly seeing what everyone is doing, making it so easy to compare your journey to someone else’s. When you catch yourself doing that, take a moment and remind yourself: I am where I am supposed to be. I am on my own time. I have my own journey, my journey will look different than others, but that doesn’t mean that I am not on the right track. This is your turn to learn, to heal, and to figure out who you are and what you want.
Take the pressure off yourself. You’re doing better than you think. Trust that the time of your life will make sense when it is meant to be. Breathe, be patient, and continue to show up. Everything happens for a reason, and your reason is still unfolding!
With love, Alyssa Jackson
Alyssa J., University of Wisconsin
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