Sarah A.
Photography by Peyton Mears
If you’re reading this, you’re not behind.
This is something I’ve had to remind myself more times than I can count.
I didn’t always realize how often I compared myself to other people until it started deeply affecting me. As much as I didn’t want to confront it, it influenced how I saw myself. It ruined my confidence and took a large toll on my mental health. This feeling showed up in many ways. Sometimes it was academic, seeing people succeed so easily, knowing exactly what they wanted to do, or just feeling like they were always one step ahead. Even when I was doing well, I never felt like I was doing enough.
But it wasn't just academic. There were moments when I felt behind in relationships. Watching people find someone new, meeting their person, or simply just seeming so confident and sure in that part of their life, made me feel like I was late to something, even though no one ever said there was a timeline. This comparison made me question my worth and whether I was where I was supposed to be, or if I was somehow falling behind in multiple parts of my life at once.
I tried my hardest to ignore and never admit it out loud, but I definitely felt it.
Over time, I began to realize how much of that feeling came from comparison. I was looking at a highlight reel of other people’s lives from the outside, seeing their achievements, their friendships, their relationships, and assuming that meant they had everything figured out.
But I wasn’t seeing the full picture.
I wasn’t seeing their doubts, their insecurities, or the parts of their lives that didn’t feel as put together as they looked, the parts that make us all human.
Once I started recognizing this pattern, something shifted for me.
Just because my life didn’t look like someone else’s didn’t mean I was behind. It just meant my path didn’t look exactly the same, and that is completely okay. Now, when these thoughts and feelings come back up, I try to meet them with a little more grace. I remind myself that growth doesn’t always look obvious, and progress doesn’t always happen on a timeline we can control and measure.
Sometimes it looks like figuring things out slowly. Sometimes it looks like starting over. And sometimes it looks like simply trying your best and continuing, even when you’re unsure.
There’s no deadline for success. No deadline for finding your person. And, no deadline for having it all figured out.
I truly believe that for each person, things come together in their own divine time, and when they do, they will feel real, and they will feel right.
If you’re still reading this, I want you to remember that you are not behind.
Honestly, you are exactly where you are meant to be!
Sarah A., Florida State University
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