Samantha Y.
Photography by Peyton Mears
If you’re reading this, confusion is just the beginning of understanding.
I spend a lot of time asking myself questions, the kind that don’t really have answers yet. I want to be a dentist, but do I really? Is that my dream or just the version of stability I convinced myself of? Am I moving toward something meaningful or just moving because standing still feels worse?
Somewhere along the way, I realized growing up doesn’t mean finding certainty. It means learning how to live alongside uncertainty without letting it define you. I still overthink the endless possibilities of where my life could go. Every decision feels like it could change everything and sometimes that thought is overwhelming. But maybe confusion isn’t proof that I’m lost, maybe it’s proof that I’m searching honestly.
Sometimes I remind myself that my life could end at any moment. Not in a dark way, but in a real way. I question paths before I even walk them. I imagine futures that may never exist. Why do I spend so much time worrying about what I might become instead of focusing on what I’m actually doing right now? In the middle of all that thinking, I noticed something unexpected which is that I am much further ahead than I once thought I would be.
For a long time, I thought I needed to have everything figured out by now. I thought there would be a moment where life suddenly made sense and the right path would be obvious. But that moment never really comes. Instead, life just keeps moving and you move with it by making choices with the little understanding you have. Maybe the point isn’t to have the perfect plan. Maybe the point is just to keep moving, learning, and figuring things out as I go.
I chose to write this letter because, right now, it feels important to me. Maybe it will matter to my future, maybe it won’t. Maybe it’s just a small decision that leads somewhere unexpected. It’s all up to the flip of a coin. All I really know is now – and for the first time, that feels like enough.
Samantha Y., Florida State University
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