Ryland D.
Featuring Ryland D.
If you’re reading this, take it one day at a time.
When I was little, my dad consistently repeated the most ridiculous sayings and phrases. At the time, it was very annoying, but as I’ve grown older, I can’t help but smile when thinking about his consistent commitment to sprinkle them into my early childhood and adolescence, regardless of how many eye rolls and mumbled “yes sirs” he received. Of these endless sayings, there were: “Every day is a holiday, and every meal is a feast!” “K.T.B.O. Keep the butterflies organized, Ry.” “There are sheep, wolves, sheep dogs, which are you?” and perhaps the most impactful during my time in college has been “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” This one is just ridiculous and growing up I knew what that meant. It has a pretty obvious meaning. But I didn’t know what it felt like to be faced with that elephant and need to hear that advice.
There was a time in my life when everything was on a checklist. I am and always will be goal oriented. To me, goals weren’t words you write with sparkly ink on a poster in your bedroom, although I am guilty of that too. But, to me, these were the strict- no exceptions- must achieve them- or else type of goals. And I’ve carried that weight my whole life.
The weight of doing well in school, so my parents wouldn't have to pay for my college education. The weight of being the best friend, the best partner, the best leader. The weight of being a good role model who sets the pace for my younger brother. The weight of success. The weight of wondering if every step forward is just a step down the wrong path. The weight of having it all figured out, certain, and in place at 18, 19, 20, and now almost 21.
I would juggle the world, attempt any obstacle, sacrifice my own health to check those boxes, and not just check them, but complete them perfectly.
One of the hardest realizations I have ever come to is this: I simply cannot. You simply cannot. We cannot. We cannot check those boxes perfectly. We cannot check them alone. And, that we cannot check them all today.
You cannot place the weight of your hope for the future in yourself alone. You have to lean on your people. Call your mom whose voice is enough to calm your worries. Call your dad with the silly phrases. Think back to the little you who would be amazed at where you are, no matter how you feel right now.
Even still, this is not to say that you will not struggle; because that would be as far from the truth as possible. When something doesn't go to plan, or that box looks shaky and the ink starts running out, my instant reaction is to run through every possible scenario to figure it out. But sometimes you just can’t. Sometimes the weight of the moment is so crushing; you won’t figure it out alone.
I choose to put my hope in the Lord, because the truth is, I simply cannot do it without Him. Or the people He has so carefully and intentionally placed in my life. Throughout the ups and downs of my life, He has always been there, carefully guiding me through problems that I simply cannot figure out alone. The weight we carry might drag us to our knees some days, but He will never let you go down.
So, here's my advice, whether you're carrying this kind of weight or a different one entirely: there are people who love you and are so, so incredibly proud of you. I am so proud of you. There will always be critics, those questioning and doubting you, and those waiting to see when you haven’t checked that box yet. Just remember, you are the only one with a fork staring that elephant down, so does it matter what they might think of you? They won’t eat that elephant for you.
You will never be perfect, and the weight will always be there, but it gets lighter over time if you lean on your people, place your hope in something larger than yourself, and take it one day at a time.
So, join me at the table and take it one day at a time.
Ryland D., Southern Methodist University
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