Professor Concepcion

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If you’re reading this, you must know that how you feel and what you struggle with does not define you.  

Committing to coming to college is a big step, and one that you should be incredibly proud of.  While these times will challenge you, it's important to know that you will also find a community of folks that will cheer for your success, rally behind you when you need it, and understand the stress that you are going through. 

When I went to college, I remember thinking to myself that there could not possibly be folks that would understand where I was coming from. For years, I spent my time trying to hide any outward signs of struggling - yet they bubbled up in different ways.  I picked at my hangnails constantly (I still do).  I would walk in large groups with my teeth so clenched that I would get excruciating pains in my molars.  Whenever I felt overstimulated, I felt a tick overcome me.  Trying to stop myself from moving, I felt like it moved into feeling like I had a perpetual dry eye.  I didn’t eat - or I would eat too much.  One semester I had to withdraw completely from school to get help on learning how to cope.  

It wasn’t until that moment that I decided to “come clean” with everyone around me.  I started telling those around me about the problems I felt like I was having with mental illness - convinced that I would be pushed away.  While I nervously waited for everyone’s judgement - it never came.  Instead, I found individuals coming back to me and saying “thank goodness, I’ve been carrying this for so long, and I didn’t really know who to turn to.” The more I talked, the more I found others that were dealing with the exact same thing that I was dealing with.  This shared experience allowed me to make new friends, go to new groups, and find some comfort that I wasn’t the only person that was “broken”. 

After college, I would go on to do really cool things.  I'd speak to groups of thousands at a clip, host shows as an on-air personality, and get great success with writing books.  However, if you came to any event, read any book, or watched a show - you could always find a spot where I would share a little bit of my story from a mental health standpoint.  I felt I owed it to anyone who came in contact with me to know that I dealt with these things just like anyone else did - but that this ‘condition’ would not prevent me from participating fully or prevent me from reaching out. 

At Newhouse, I teach one of the first classes that students take in their first year.  I also teach this class on Monday morning at 8 a.m..  This means that for those students in that class, I am the first person that they will come in contact with in their college experience.  Mom and Dad left about 12 hours prior - and the students believe that there is a small miracle that they were even able to find the room to begin with.  

I see the faces of these students, mixed with excitement and a tinge of uneasiness.  Externally, these students would give the air of “I'm cool… I got this…. it's all good.” But I also know that there are students that will go to the bathroom just outside of the room and pour water on their face to control the freak out thoughts of “What am I doing… what am I doing here…” 

In the classroom, I often tell students that talking about mental health sometimes feels like emotional chicken.  No one wants to be the first one to admit that it's not “all good” - but that we wait for someone to show their cards first.  Because of that, I tell the students that I'm more than happy to start. 

I go through all of the experiences I’ve had - from counseling to harm, isolation to withdrawal.  I go through the moments of sitting in a room by myself for weeks, having a friend come and check up on me once a day.  Then, I remind them that through it all - I am still here… and in the front of the class.  Every time I do it - I still feel the nauseating feeling of potential judgment. Mostly, however, I hear from all of the students that are like “Finally… we can be real”.  Through the semester, I try to make light of when I take my meds late (hold on kids.. this is going to be a scattered lecture for a few minutes), or remind them of things to do to stay on task or stay positive.  I have coffee in my office and a couch - and they’ve served as a space for plenty who just want to sit there - even if they don’t want to say a word.  It’s all good.  Just let me know if you want coffee…

I remember watching a TED talk from Brene Brown who shared about the moment of vulnerability.  She asked the crowd how many people thought that sharing their story would be seen as a sign of weakness.  Most of everyone raised their hand.  She then reminded everyone that the people that were on that stage were sharing moments of their own weakness.  She asked how many of them saw those people as sharing a moment of bravery. 

Most of everyone raised their hand. 

I pray that you find the voice to share who you are. While you may not believe it, you will be shocked to know how many people you will be a source of bravery to.  You will make groups that will share with you how to cope, live, and have fun.  But most importantly, you will realize just how many folks you have in your corner. 

And you can count on me to be one of them. 

I can’t wait to see how much you achieve here.  You’ve earned this.

Professor Concepcion, Syracuse University

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