Areebah S.

Photography by Emma Joseph

If you’re reading this, comparison is the thief of joy.

I want to tell you something I’ve learned the hard way – comparison is one of the quietest ways to destroy yourself. I know because I’ve been living in that space for a long time now.

There are days when I wake up already feeling behind. I’ll open my phone and see people my age doing things that make me question everything about my own life – starting businesses, graduating early, getting internships that sound impressive even in their email signatures. And then there’s me, sitting at my desk, struggling to find motivation just to start another assignment.

I tell myself I should be further along by now. That maybe if I worked harder, or cared more, or had more discipline, I’d finally feel like I was catching up. But the truth is, chasing other people’s timelines has left me exhausted and detached from my own.

There’s this constant noise in my head that tells me I’m not doing enough. That I’m not enough. My parents have their expectations, my friends have their achievements, and the world seems to reward only those who move fast and never stop. Somewhere between all that noise, I lost my rhythm. I stopped moving for myself and started moving just to keep those expectations up.

But lately I’ve been trying to see things differently. I realized that people only show us the highlight reel of their lives. We don’t see the parts where they feel small or unsure or scared. I’ve started to notice how unfair it is – the way I compare my hardest moments with someone else’s best ones.

A few months ago, I had a moment that changed how I thought about all this.

I was talking to a friend who seemed to have everything together – straight A’s, a plan for after graduation, the kind of confidence that fills a room. I told her how I envied that, and she just looked at me and said, “I envy how calm you seem.” I laughed at first because I didn’t feel calm at all. But it hit me later – while I was busy wishing I had her life, she was wishing for something I already had.

That’s the thing about comparison: it blinds you to your own growth. It makes you believe that your pace doesn't count when it actually does. It makes you forget that life isn’t a race, it’s a collection of moments – some fast, some slow, all important.

I won’t lie – I still have days when I feel left behind. When I look around and wonder if everyone else is moving on without me. But I’m learning to breathe through those thoughts instead of letting them define me. I’m learning to find pride in small progress – getting out of bed on a hard day, forgiving yourself for not being perfect, and starting again when you feel like giving up.

If you’re reading this, and you’ve been feeling the same – like time is slipping through your fingers, like you’re watching everyone else live while you’re just existing – I want you to know that it’s okay. You’re allowed to figure things out later. You’re allowed to take your time.

You’re not behind. You’re just becoming.

And that’s enough for now!

                        Sincerely,

Areebah S., Wake Forest University

Connect With Us

To follow IfYoureReadingThis at Wake Forest on Instagram, get in touch with our chapter, and learn about more resources available to Wake Forest students, visit our chapter’s homepage.