Ally K.
Photography by Margeaux Edwards
If you’re reading this, it’s okay if college isn’t the best years of your life.
Growing up, I idolized WSU. My dad graduated from here, my mom went here for 2 years, and my mom’s entire family is a Coug family. I thought WSU was the end all be all. There was supposed to be nothing better than it.
But when I came to college it was much different than I thought it was going to be. I thought it was just fun. And at times it was. I loved football and baseball games. I loved fun times in my sorority like bid day, our philanthropy events, hanging out at the house, and getting to meet so many girls. I loved all the nights I went out. I loved homecoming week with all the Greek life competitions and serenades. I loved that I found a relationship with God, found a church here that I feel comfortable in, and got to meet so many awesome Christians.
While there are many moments, experiences, and people I loved and cherish here, there are also a lot of tough moments. I also struggled a lot. I never expected my classes to be so difficult. I never expected that I would compare myself so much to others. I never expected to struggle with anxiety and depression as much as I have. So while there are many moments I would love to go back and experience again, there are also times in college when I wish I could go back and do things differently or not at all. I would have allowed myself to be myself and not fear how I would be perceived. I felt my mental health inhibited me from making friends and living my best life here. I feel like I let myself down at times.
But I know that it isn’t just me who has struggled. Everyone here has gone through something. Many of us went through WSU during the pandemic. Many of us experienced the loss of family or friends, even some of us losing our WSU friends. Many of us experienced mental health issues. Many of us struggled with school and at times felt like a failure in our classes. The list goes on and on. And many of us have had something happen to us here that has hurt us. People talk about the good times in college but few people talk about the hard times in college that many of us have gone through. People post the nights going out but few post the nights you cry to your friends or your mom. Just know I see you, I hear you, I sympathize with you, and I understand you.
Here’s the thing though. The only person who puts the importance of college in your life is you. It is only a couple of years of your life. You get to decide if you think that small portion of your life is the most important or if other years of your life are. Only you get to decide how much power college has over you.
Whether you belonged to a certain club, a certain fraternity or sorority, or a certain team, it doesn’t matter. Whether you found your best friends for life or not. Whether you dated in college or not. Whether you aced your classes or barely got by. Whether you were the life of the party or were a total homebody. Whether you studied abroad or not. Whether you went somewhere for spring break. Whether you get your dream internship or not. Whether you loved college, hated it, or were indifferent about it, it doesn’t matter. It only matters if you make it matter. Everyone has a different journey and a different story. And nobody’s story is more valuable than another. Because each one is different and that is inherently valuable. It is a part of the story of your life.
So as I approach graduating, I feel indifferent. And that’s ok. It’s a part of my story. I’m grateful for all the moments and people that got to be a part of my story, no matter if they were great or terrible. And maybe the reason why I’m still going to be in Pullman for my gap year is that I don’t feel my story is done. I only have gotten 3 years here and I think I need a fourth and final chapter. But if your story in Pullman and/or WSU is ending, starting, or somewhere in the middle, cherish it. Because it will always be a part of you. WSU will always be a part of you.
Go Cougs!
Ally K., Washington State University
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