Anonymous

Photography by Jerry Stamatelatos

If you’re reading this, just take it one bite at a time.

For as long as I can remember, my mom has been repeating the same quote to me whenever I feel down, and it’s something I think about often. It helps me clear my head when everything is stressing me out. She would ask me how I’d eat an elephant – one bite at a time.

When we’re in a position where we’re so stressed out about what’s going on around us, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. When we get overwhelmed, we end up crashing out and getting nothing done, leading to even more stress and more to do.

Coming to university was a shock that everybody warned me about, but I couldn’t, or didn’t want to, listen. I had always figured that since I had been to 10 different schools before coming to university, college would be just as easy. I had my struggles my freshman year, and although it’s better now, it’s not perfect and probably will never be perfect. But instead of worrying about everything I don’t like about myself and hating myself like I used to, I’ve learned to just take university one bite at a time.

I didn’t make friends like I thought I would. I had always watched sitcoms growing up and wanted a friend group like in The Big Bang Theory. I wanted a group of people to spend all my free time with, explore new places, and talk to. Getting along with people now isn’t like how it was in high school. In high school, we’re forced to be around our classmates for seven hours a day, and in college it’s only about two hours. In university, making friends is about initiative – somebody has to take the first step and ask another person to do something before they can become friends.

I’m a pretty shy person, and taking that initiative is really hard for me. I often feel like people wouldn’t care to spend time with me, or that they’re too busy. I tried to reach out and make friends, but on almost every occasion it didn’t work, and I was left feeling vulnerable and rejected. That’s why I learned not to focus so much on making friends and instead learned to appreciate myself as a friend.

For me, where I’ve found comfort is in routine. Establishing a routine has helped me plan out my time so I make sure to do everything I need for school, while also taking time to do what I enjoy. I’m still not doing great, honestly, and university is still very rough, but working through challenging times is difficult and won’t happen overnight. All that matters is that you’re doing now what is going to make you happiest.

Anonymous, New York University

Connect With Us

To follow IfYoureReadingThis at NYU on Instagram, get in touch with our chapter, and learn about more resources available to NYU students, visit our chapter’s homepage.

AUTHOR CONTACT

This author has opted to allow readers who resonate with their story to contact them. If you would like to speak to the author of this letter about their experience, please use the form below.