Jess M.
If you’re reading this, you’re allowed to be a work in progress.
Post grad is challenging. One day you are surrounded by your college peers and the next you are alone on your lunch break, feeling isolated while applying to jobs, or learning your first lessons are how to manage money, all while scrolling at seeing everyone posting on social media acting like they have it together with infinite friends, the coolest plans, and must fun jobs. It is easy to forget social media is a highlight glimpse of our best times.
As someone navigating the post-grad life, the most valuable piece of advice I can offer is be patient. It sounds so simple, small, and can be frustrating to hear but I think it is the only way to navigate this confusing time of your life. Finding patience with things you can’t control, like a company’s hiring process or how far away your friends are, is important, but finding internal patience is the breathing room your brain and nervous system needs. It is a vital tool for emotional survival and recovery.
In college, we are conditioned to expect a linear life. We apply effort, we take the exam, and we get an immediate grade and our brains love that cycle. Once we graduate, that linear relationship disappears when you apply for fifty jobs, you hear nothing back, and your internal chemistry goes into a tailspin.
There is a fascinating study out of the Okinawa Institute of Science and Technology that explains exactly why this hurts so much. Neuroscientists found that our brains have two distinct regions in the prefrontal cortex dedicated entirely to calculating whether waiting for a reward is 'worth it.'
The first part (the Orbitofrontal Cortex) kicks in when you know a reward is coming, you just don't know the exact date. But the second part, the Medial Prefrontal Cortex (mPFC), is the one that has to fire up when the timing of a reward is completely unpredictable and variable.
Post-grad life is the ultimate, brutal mPFC test. When you feel that deep, anxious itch of impatience, it isn't because you are failing. It’s quite literally just your prefrontal cortex working overtime, burning through its serotonin supplies, trying to map out a future that doesn't have a syllabus.
Going to school in New York City and working in a very fast paced industry, I’ve been surrounded by this need to “have it all together”. Finding the power of internal patience has allowed me to turn around my stressful, self-doubting days and remind myself of that exact truth: "I am allowed to be a work in progress."
If you are reading this, take a deep breath, extend yourself some grace, and remember that you don't have to figure out the rest of your life by tomorrow afternoon.
Jess Mastorakis
Digital Marketing Manager, TOGETHER!
