Olivia M.
Photography by Peyton Mears
If you’re reading this, “Who will you become while you’re here?”
"Who will you become while you're here?" This question is posted on signs all across our campus. I never imagined my answer would be: a survivor. I am angry. I am heartbroken. I am disappointed. And I am exhausted.
On April 17th, a student burst into my classroom—running for their life from a shooter just yards away. In an instant, my worst nightmare became real. We ran to the back of the room. The lights were turned off. The door, which didn’t lock, was barricaded with desks. We cried. We shook. We lay on top of one another, waiting. I heard everything: every noise in that room, every sound from the hallway—every breath, every whimper, every movement. I texted my parents and my boyfriend: “I love you.” I thought it would be the last message I’d ever send.
I rubbed a stranger’s back. I held another’s hand. We braced ourselves with every pound on the door, every knock, not knowing what would come next. Later, I walked across campus with my hands in the air, shaking uncontrollably.
This is not normal. This should not be normal. I should be able to go to school without wondering if I’ll make it home. I should be able to walk into a classroom, certain I’ll see my friends and family again. I should feel safe. But in this country, that’s not the reality. And that must change.
I’m devastated. My peace has been shattered. The place I’ve called home for the past few years has been violated. Still, I believe in this community. I know we will come back stronger and closer than ever—but we shouldn’t have had to.
I won’t let this take away what’s left of my final year at FSU. I won’t let this hollow, broken individual define me—or define this school. I will carry this with me. I will never forget. But I will move forward. I will continue to fight. This does not—and will not—define who I am.
“Who will you become while you’re here?” I am more than a survivor. I have become an advocate. A leader. A friend. A fighter.
“When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.” - Jimi Hendrix
Olivia M., Florida State University
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