Emalee M.

If you’re reading this, you belong here.

Growing up, I have always pressured myself to do the best I could in every aspect of my life. My academics became my world-if I missed one question, I would replay it over and over again in my head, beating myself up for the wrong answer. Every morning before elementary school, my mom said, “Do your best and let God do the rest!” Even though I had a support system around me, I never truly believed that I was enough. I kept questioning myself, my abilities, and the impression I had created for myself. I defined myself by how I performed in different aspects of my life. Coming from a small, rural town in South Carolina, I grew up in a place where everyone knew everyone. I knew any action I made would be made known to all. Because of that, I worked to maintain the highest standards in my life, trying to hide any hard times from the outside world. Even in conversations, I would question my ability to be a good friend-Did I say the right things or lead people in the right direction?

This drive for perfection made me question whether I belonged in the spaces and opportunities I had been given. Even when I toured Clemson, I struggled to commit because I believed a shy girl from a small town in the middle of nowhere would never belong at such a large and prestigious school. This doubt led me to submit my deposit only two days before the deadline and to constantly question my decision. When I came to Clemson, I soon discovered that I could not do everything at once or ever reach the level of perfection that I had set for myself. I tried to be encouraging to others, but I realized that I was preaching to others something I could never understand myself. When people say you are your own worst enemy, that remains true more than ever for me. Especially at college in a new major and surrounded by intelligent people, I felt like I was already 10 steps behind in academics, friendships, and involvement compared to those around me. 

That’s when I discovered that my definition of perfection was unattainable. Either I could give up, or I could choose to do the best I could and believe that I belonged in the spaces I was in. From these times of doubt and self-judgement, I learned one of the most important lessons of my life-I learned to give myself grace. 

Now, I do not mean that I have it figured out. I am definitely still working on understanding that everything cannot be perfect. But I do try every day to remember that I am full of flaws that make me who I am and enable me to bring a unique perspective to every space. I will never reach the level of perfection I desired because only Jesus Christ will ever reach that standard. However, just because I am not perfect and I make more mistakes in a day than I can count, I still belong here, and you do too. 

Regardless of your self-doubt, your background, and your perception of others, give yourself grace. You are doing amazing, and you belong here! Enjoy the blessings the Lord has given you and know that everyone is just doing their best. 

You are uniquely you, with your imperfections and all, and make the Clemson family and this world what it is. Give yourself the grace that the Lord has blessed us with. You belong here, not because of any action you have done, but because the Lord has graciously washed away our sins to be made new in him.

Jeremiah 29:11 states: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope” (NIV)

Emalee M., Clemson University

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