Jordyn J.

Photography by Cassie English

If you’re reading this, you are loved and you are supported. You are so much more than the pressure you put on yourself to be perfect.

I hope this letter encourages you to shift perspectives, and love yourself a little extra. 

I've been an athlete my whole life. I’ve been involved in my sport since I was very little, and to be honest, it is all I really know. I fell in love with the feeling of pushing my body to its limits, the adrenaline rush of competition, and the sense of accomplishment when I win. But, for me, my sport has always been more than just a hobby. It's been my whole identity. My sport has shaped and molded me into the person I am today, and I couldn’t be prouder. With that said, I am the person I am today because I have struggled with the balance of being passionate about my sport, while not letting it be the sole determinant of my worth.

I've always felt like I needed to be the best, to be perfect. After all, my sport revolves around being perfect. There was a time when I was so focused on winning, on being the best, that I never felt like I was good enough. I always fell short of what I expected of myself. I've always felt like I needed to do more, to be more. But I found myself in this habit of telling myself I was not worth enough because I was not “perfect” at every practice or competition. I found myself lying awake at night feeling that I not only failed myself but those around me too. 

 I’ve always prided myself on being positive and looking at everything from a different perspective. When my positivity started to fade, and negativity became my new normal I knew I needed a shift in perspective. I know, a lot easier said than done. But I started to realize that my self-worth is not supposed to be tied up in my sport. My sport is not forever and the truth is, win or lose, I am still me. Win or lose, I am loved and valued by my family, friends, and teammates. Win or lose, I am still just that little girl doing the sport she loves. Win or lose, I am always enough. 

I learned to use a lot of different tools to help me through this process. My personal favorite is meditating. It is mind-blowing how much pressure you feel lifted off your shoulder by taking 10 minutes a day to just breathe and come back to the present. I also started to write down 5 things I was grateful for every day. It could be small or big, It did not matter. Remembering the little joys in life is so grounding and reminds me to take a step back and look at things from a different perspective. Learning to do this is one of the greatest tools I have learned that I use in all aspects of life. 

I decided to take my experience and use it to help others. I am now the Lead Chair of the Mental Health Committee for student-athletes. I want to help others who may be struggling with similar issues, and I want to educate people about the importance of mental health and the different tools they can use. I feel that the line between being mentally tough for your sport while also prioritizing mental health has become blurred. By continuing to have conversations about mental health and joining together in our experiences I hope that others feel more supported and connected as well. 

I'm still an athlete, and I still love my sport, but I am still learning to find a balance. Life is a balancing act. I've learned to find joy in the process, in the hard work and the effort, rather than just in the outcome. I’m learning to find joy in being me and that little girl who first fell in love with the sport could not be prouder of who she grew up to be. 

If you’re reading this, love yourself a little extra today.

Jordyn J., Arizona State University ‘23

 

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