Estefania G.
If you’re reading this, remember that someone’s or something’s inability to match your depth isn’t a reflection of you.
Life is meant to be lived forwards but understood backwards. I have always been very pensive, and through life, I have often come out the other end feeling like “too much.” It’s an isolating feeling, one that can affect one’s psyche, whether that be through friendships, romances, or professional opportunities.
I began feeling like what, in theory, made me was actually a flaw. Like, deep down, there was an inherent downside to who I was. I internalized those feelings, thinking that my emotions or passions were too big. But I don’t feel that way with the things that pour into my soul. It’s something I still struggle with at times, and in sharing my perspective, I don’t mean to say I’ve reached some pinnacle state of mental health. Still, that thought pattern led me to shrink myself to fit the molds of spaces that, in reality, didn’t serve me. And in sharing, maybe someone else feels seen.
Some people, places, or things simply won’t have the capacity to meet you at your depth. That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. People are just different. Different can be less, and that person, place, or thing deserves to be matched with someone who can meet them at their level and be okay with their ceiling. There is so much life inside you. Don’t pour into someone or something that isn’t good enough for you. Someone/something can be great, but if they/it can’t match you, that mismatch isn’t serving you.
Once you discern that, you are humbled, knowing that what makes you beautifully imperfect and you is everything you may have been made to feel is “too much.” People can only meet you as far as they’ve met themselves. Prioritize your mind and soul by choosing friendships, relationships, and spaces where you are matched. Because if you don’t, you will repeat the cycle.
It is far easier said than done, but gaining that perspective has allowed me to recenter myself in moments of heartache, whether that be a friendship not working out or feeling too much in a classroom setting. I hope my perspective brought you a bit of peace, nuanced conversations surrounding feelings are so important. Please know that we will all be okay.
Estefania G., Florida State University
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