Cami C.
Photo submitted by Cami C.
If you're reading this, you deserve good friends.
If you're anything like me, standing up for yourself doesn’t come naturally. For reasons that can be hard to pinpoint, you may have internalized the belief that poor treatment is what you deserve. But I hope this letter serves as a reminder that a different world exists - one where you are treated with dignity, respect, and care. That world is real, and you are worthy of finding it.
Many of the friendships I built at USC have stood the test of time, and I’m deeply grateful for them. But some relationships taught me a painful, necessary lesson: that I deserved better.
At first, all my friendships seemed promising. But some ended with me in tears, questioning why I had tolerated so much disrespect. When friends were unkind, I brushed it off. When they said things they knew would hurt me, I felt lucky just to be acknowledged. When they mocked me, I laughed along - until I couldn’t anymore. By the time I graduated, I found myself having to justify certain friendships to people who only wanted to see me treated well.
Eventually, I had to face a truth I didn’t want to admit: some people are simply mean, and that’s not my fault. The disrespect I endured wasn’t something I could fix with patience or kindness. And this brings me to why I relate it all to mental health. When you're treated like a burden long enough, you start to believe that you are one. Toxic friendships chip away at your sense of self. By the end of these friendships, my self-confidence was nonexistent. And while it’s easy to say you should just walk away, the emotional residue lingers. Even now, I sometimes catch myself feeling like I talk too much, like my words are noise no one wants to hear.
There’s one moment I’ll never forget - a clear turning point. I had just received a call from USC’s student government asking me to fill a vacant senator position. After narrowly losing the election, I was ecstatic to still have a chance to bring my ideas to life in a space of student leaders. I called a friend right away, bursting with excitement. Their response? “I don’t understand why all these good things happen to you and never to me.” That comment deflated me. It reminded me that even my happiest moments didn’t feel safe to share.
Now, in this chapter of my life, I’ve made a conscious effort to choose kindness. I’ve surrounded myself with friends who are generous with their love, who believe in “no judgment” zones, and who show up - whether it’s to laugh, cry, or just sit in silence. If I could go back in time and share my senator news with one of them, I know I’d be met with joy and celebration.
I can’t rewrite the past, but I can honor the fact that I loved myself enough to choose better. My mental health has improved immensely, and a big part of that is the kindness I’ve allowed into my life.
This weekend, I’m meeting up with one of my friends. I’m looking forward to the conversation, the laughter, and most of all, the simple joy of being treated like I matter.
Cami C., University of Southern California
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