Professor Davis
If you’re reading this, you may be feeling scared or alone or in pain. If there is anything that I can offer you from where I am sitting here writing to you, it is this: it will get better. That is the foundational truth that I have discovered through my own teaching, research and exploration as a clinical psychologist. It is also what I have discovered through my own personal pain and suffering.
I may be one of those people who from afar appears to have it all together – professionally (teaching at UVA) and personally (a wonderful family and beautiful children), but like most people who appear to have it all together, I struggle too. There have been days -- especially as a college student (when I also appeared on the outside to have it all together) -- when I’ve felt nearly frozen with anxiety and weighed down with depression. No matter how alone you may feel, I can guarantee that you are surrounded by people who share your pain and suffering. You are not alone.
One walk across Grounds and you will pass dozens of people who look radiantly happy and competent, but under the successful surface they are hurting too. They aren’t talking about it because in our UVA culture we put a premium on appearing to have it all together. But I can tell you, from my many years teaching and counseling college students, many of them are hurting too. You are not alone.
So, know you have company. Know that you are not the only one. And know that it gets better. Just hang in there. It did for me. I have a very happy life (although I still have those painful days, they are less frequent and less intense). The same will be true for you. Make sure you talk to someone (anyone!) – a friend, a counselor, a minister, a family member. Consider getting some counseling support. Although counseling is not right answer for everyone, it has been a Godsend for me, personally. It has helped me heal and enrich my life more than I can describe.
So, please, know that it gets better and that you are not alone. You will get through this. I’m sending you love and support.
Tim Davis
Professor of Leadership in the UVA Batten School of Leadership & Public Policy
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